The Pen
by kukumalu01
Summary: When Tancred has a writer's block, Lysander tries to deal with his tapping pen. Tries.


kukumalu01: I wanted to try a one-shot at Charlie Bone and haha, this was fun to write. PLEASE tell me what you think by reviewing.

**The Pen**

_When Tancred has a writer's block, Lysander tries to deal with his tapping pen. Tries. _

* * *

It all started with a pen.

Inspiration comes in different forms, but for Tancred, it seemed that tapping his pen furiously was his muse. His blue pen kept making the _pak pak pak_ sound faster than an about-to-be-sentenced criminal's heartbeat.

You know how they always say that when inspiration comes, take advantage of it? Yeah, so what do the other people do while the inspired person does his work? I held a personal conference with all the different mindsets in my head and listened to them all.

_**Tactic 1: Ignore him**_

I bent down and read the third question in the general paper. _What Did The People Learn In Prehistoric Times?_

I frowned at the question. It was one mark. Hmm. Maybe Mr. Pope only had 99 marks worth of questions and added this as a bonus.

Ah well. It just means that Tanc, who obviously didn't study (I knew it) because of his desperate need of inspiration, will get at least one mark in the test.

I scribbled something from the top of my head. 'They learnt to use friction. They scrape stones on one another which make-'

_Pak pak pak._

'-which will make fire. They learnt to use weapons. An alternative to banging their heads against each other like animals, which will probably make themselves go-'

_Pak pak pak._

'-into coma because of brain damage. This-'

_Pak pak pak._

'-is hugely irritating'.

I sighed. Ignoring Tancred and his pen would not work. _I_ am getting brain damage.

_**Tactic 2: Suggest indirectly that he is annoying the heck out of you.**_

I sit next to Tancred for crying out loud. How indirect do you want me to get?

_Pak pak pak._

_Cough_. (That was me and my indirect suggestion.)

_Pak pak pak._

_Cough cough cough. _(This is not working. And I feel stupid. Lysander Sage does not feel stupid. That is Tancred's job.)

_Pak pak pak pak pak._

_Cough cough cough cough cough! _(I stand corrected. Stupidity is not Tancred's job. It is his middle name. Can't he see I was coughing in the same beat as his pen? Wasn't that suspicious enough to make him stop?)

_Pak._

_COUGH. _

Silence.

IT WORKED.

"Hey 'Sander… You okay?" came Tancred's voice.

"I am now," I replied back, grinning.

Finally, I can get this test done in peace.

_Pak pak pak._

Thanks a lot, Mindset No. 2.

_**Tactic 3: Grab the pen away from him.**_

Why wasn't Mindset No. 3 the first mindset?

I'll tell you why. This is what happened.

Me: (grabs Tancred's pen) Sorry, mine ran out of ink.

Tanc: (stares at my pen – which by the way I bought yesterday, during the weekend) Uhm. Ok.

Me: (gives him an apologetic look and turn my face away, laughing at my own genius)

Tanc: (takes another pen)

_Pak pak pak._

Great.

_**Tactic 4: Give him something to soften the blows of the pen on the table.**_

Alright, Tanc. If you really want to tap that pen, go ahead. I am not stopping you. You are my best friend after all. I would never dream of limiting you.

So here you go. One piece of tissue paper. Go ahead. Put it under your pen.

Only I did not say this in so many words. It was a test after all. I just handed him the tissue and gave him a very pointed look.

Tancred looked at me in surprise, then a little guilt. "Oh man," he whispered, "is it really bad?"

"Not really," I shrugged. "Just awful. Annoying. Disturbing. Terrible. Really-"

"I get it, I get it."

Tancred took the tissue with the pen still in his hands-

-and blew his nose.

"Sorry. Just the usual morning flu. My bad."

I groaned and sank my head in my arms.

"… I didn't know it was _that_ bad."

_**Tactic 5: Just tell him DIRECTLY.**_

Easier said than done.

Has anyone seen how Tancred reacts to criticism?

Correction; has anyone seen how Tancred reacts to criticism _without_ being drenched to the skin and have to ask in immense embarrassment to one of the girls to borrow their hairdryer for their schoolbooks?

No.

Never let it be said that I, Lysander Sage, am a coward.

"Hey Tanc-" I began.

"- pencils DOWN."

"-I-"

I stopped.

Backtrack, rewind, playback.

Pencils down.

…

…

…

SAY WHAT?

"Your fifteen minutes to complete the ten question test is up," Mr. Pope announced. "Every mark is multiplied by ten to get your 100%. Most likely, all of you have failed your math as well as this test, given how your math teacher has been moaning in the staffroom." Mr. Pope snorted. "Huh. Well, you're DISMISSED."

Dismissed.

I did not complete the test.

Ha ha ha…

"Hey 'Sander, you sure you okay?" Tancred asked, nudging me. "You seemed all spaced out the whole test. Why were you staring at my pen?"

It all goes back to the pen.

Stupid pen.


End file.
